I don't consider myself beautiful, but I do turn the heads of the boys around me. I have shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes, stand about 5'7'' tall and wear a 38C bra.
I never considered myself "kinky" or different but I have always liked to wear sexy lingerie under my clothes and recently started to wear leather clothes and lingerie. Also, I have an extensive collection of high heels and boots that I wear to work and around the house. I love to "Dress for Pleasure" to please myself first.
The subject of bondage and restraint has always intrigued me. I have always seen myself in the role of the bound and gagged heroine on TV. The thought of losing your freedom through bondage sends chills up and down my body. If I could only find that special someone to share this fun with. Until then, I had to find an alternative.
I got started on self-bondage when my girlfriend Monica gave me a pair of handcuffs as a joke at a lingerie party that she and I had recently attended. Monica told me to use them on my boyfriends, but when I got home, curiosity got the best of me and I tried the cuffs on myself, first in front of me and then locked behind me. I really liked the feeling of helplessness and what was even better, was that I had done it to myself. From then on, I had other ideas for the cuffs, I kept on using them to tie myself up.
When I could, I picked up as many pieces of bondage equipment that I could find (ropes, straps, thumbcuffs, etc.). It became a challenge to see how many ways I could bind and gag myself and still get out without help. I was hooked on bondage, namely, self-bondage.
The one problem with self-bondage, is that once you are bound and gagged, the fun is all gone unless you can find some way to stimulate yourself. Yes, there is always that thrill of being bound, gagged and all alone not really knowing for sure if you can get out, without outside help. However, if you have devised a foolproof method of releasing yourself and have practiced it, that thrill is lessened considerably. Someone could still find you all bound and gagged, though.
I feel that bondage, and especially self-bondage, are very exciting when something is forced upon you that you can't get out of, or rid of, because of the restraints (i.e., tickling, sex, spankings, plugs, clothespins, etc.). I have used plugs, nipple clips and other small items on myself to enhance the feeling of helplessness, but I was always looking for more.
The other aspect of bondage that is exciting is the anticipation of something happening or about to happen that you can not prevent. This anticipation was the one thing that I was missing for quite awhile in my self-bondage fun. (I had not found that special someone yet to share my fun with.)
Recently, I happened to be looking for ideas in bondage magazines at a local adult bookstore. One magazine caught my eye. It had to do with the subject of enemas. I was never into "watersports" for my sexual fun, but I thought that I could use the enema as a stimulator, in some cases of self-bondage.
This particular magazine showed a pretty female with her hands tied behind her back, legs tied apart at the ankles, and her mouth gagged with a ball gag, receiving an enema from another female dressed as a nurse. The story line that went along with the photo set talked about the bound girl paying for the services an "ENEMA NURSE." The story showed a willing bondage and watersports combination.
After reading this story, and seeing the expression of apprehension and uncertainty on the face of the poor bound girl receiving the enema, I began to fantasize that if you are tightly bound and gagged and are about to receive an enema that you can't stop and then you are forced to retain the enema for a period of time, you would then begin to appreciate the finer points of bondage (light humiliation, slight, but erotic, discomfort, etc.) It's like being tied up and tickled, you can't control it. Since I can't tickle myself when I tie myself up, I thought I would try and give myself an enema.
The idea that I had for this adventure was to tie myself up, give myself an enema, and then get out of my bondage without making a mess all over the place. The planning for this adventure took about two weeks and this upcoming weekend, I was ready to give it a try. The problem that I had to overcome in this situation, was to be able to give myself an enema at some time period after I had tied myself up and then be able to release myself after the enema had come. I also wanted the bondage in such a way, that once I was tied, there would be no return. I was going to get an enema like it or not, and I would be forced to hold it until I could get free.
To make self-bondage more fun you have to have a way to make the feeling of restraint real. To do this I usually freeze a key to a lock in an ice cube. This lock is usually used to lock leather cuffs on my wrists.
When the wrist cuffs are locked on, without the key, they don't come off. The key that is frozen in the ice cube could also be used to unlock a set of handcuffs or thumbcuffs that I sometimes use for my bondage fun.
I usually place the ice cube, with the key frozen inside, in someplace that I can't reach. Usually I hang the key from a hook in the ceiling. When the ice melts, the key falls to the floor and I can then release myself. If I have tied myself to a bed or chair, or have suspended myself, I attach a string to the key and attach the other end of the string to another hook in the ceiling above where I am bound. That way when the ice melts, the key will swing down to where I can get to it. This allows me endless possibilities for self-restraint. By varying the size of the ice cube, I can change the length of time spent in bondage.
I used the "key frozen in the ice" technique again in this situation and I also used the ice method to control the amount of time before I would receive an enema.
I started the adventure off Friday night by freezing a key to my wrist cuffs in a freezer that is in a guest room out behind my garage. This guest room has a bed, bathroom, and TV. I also placed in the room all my bondage equipment that I was going to use and the special clothing that I selected for the day's fun. In addition to the key, I also froze a piece of string in a separate ice tray. I'll explain this in a moment. I was so excited about the next day's adventure, that I slept with a set of handcuffs and leg cuffs locked on all night. Come Saturday, the water was frozen and I was all set to go.
About one o'clock Saturday afternoon, I decided to start my fun. The first thing I did was to write a short letter explaining where all the keys that I would be using were, what they were for, and that I was out in the guest room all bound and gagged. I then put the letter in an envelope and placed the envelope on the coffee table with my girlfriend's name on it. I then called her and asked her if she could come over about nine o'clock that night, because I had some of her clothes that she had left over here to give her. I also told her that if I wasn't home, come on in and wait for me and that I would leave a note for her on the table in the living room. (She had her own key.)
My real reason for asking Monica over was because this was the biggest adventure that I had undertaken dealing with self-bondage, and I didn't want to take any "big" chances (self- bondage is a big chance all by itself). If something went wrong with the keys or ice, at least I knew that I would be able to be rescued later that night. I also have had this fantasy of someone like my girlfriend finding me all bound and gagged. (Maybe it will happen tonight?) It would be very embarrassing and self- humiliation to say the least.
After the note was placed on the table, I undressed and wrapped a towel around me and headed out to the guest room, locking the house as I went. (The key to house was out in my mailbox in the front yard).
When I got to the guest room, I went inside and locked the door. I then removed the towel and ripped it into small pieces. I did this so that I wouldn't be able to use it later to cover up myself.
Once I was nude, it was time to dress for the occasion. In addition to being fond of leather clothing I recently started to collect several pieces of latex items. I liked to feeling of restriction that latex gave me. Today I selected to wear a black sleeveless latex leotard that was crotchless. This leotard was slightly boned around the waist, had cutouts for my tits, and zipped up in front.
As I pulled the leotard on, the feeling of restriction was beginning to make me very excited. I carefully pulled my tits through the cutouts. The cutouts were a little smaller that the size of my attributes, and the latex squeezed the base of my tits, causing them stand out and the nipples to harden. I then carefully zipped the leotard up. The heavy latex boning around the waist gave me a slightly hourglass figure.
This leotard had a special feature in addition to the lack of a crotch, that I had ordered. At the top of the leotard was a small rubber hasp that allowed the zipper to be locked in place. Once the leotard was on, zipped up and locked, the only way to get is off was to cut it off. With the price that I paid for the leotard, cutting wasn't the answer. I quickly put a small lock through the zipped and the hasp. The leotard was now on for awhile. The key to the lock on the leotard was in my desk drawer at work. I would have to wait until Monday morning to get the leotard off.
Locking my clothes on is another little bondage game that I play with myself. I lock items of clothes on that can't be removed until I can get to the key. For example, I have locked a pair of high heels on my feet for the whole weekend. I have gone to work with a leather corset locked around by waist that had been on since Friday night. I have even gone as far as wearing a pair of shoulder length leather gloves that had a small chain attached to the ends. These small chains were locked to a small leather collar buckled and locked around my neck. Until I can remove the collar the gloves stay on. Once I even mailed a letter to myself that contain a key to a set of locks that were used to lock the high heels, corset, and gloves on, all at the same time. The post office took two days to deliver that letter.
Anyway, in addition to the latex leotard, I put on a pair of thigh-high latex stockings and a pair of white leather thigh-high boots with 5.5" spiked heels. The boots made walking kind of difficult and restricted, which was why I choose to wear them. In the bottom of my left boot was a key taped to the sole. This key would unlock the ball gag that I was going to use to silence myself with later. Without the key, the gag and harness would not come off.
The leotard was crotchless because I intended to wear a leather chastity belt. This belt had one three-inch strap that went around the waist and a one-inch strap that went through the legs. They both locked in front. Attached to the strap that went between the legs, was a small butt plug and a vibrating dildo. The butt plug had a small hole in it and this was where the enema nozzle would fit.
Next, I locked a set of leather ankle cuffs around each ankle. I then locked the cuffs together with a twelve inch chain, thus hobbling my legs and restricting movement even further. The key to the locks on my ankles was taped inside my mailbox out in the front yard along with the key to my house.
Therefore, I would have to wait until dark before I could walk out to the mailbox and get the key to my ankle cuffs and also get into my house. I would have to wait until darkness came so that I would not be seen all bound, gagged, and dressed the way that I was. It might raise a few eyebrows to say the least! One other thing that you should note is that with the ankle cuffs locked on, the boots would not come off, so therefore, besides being hobbled in high heeled boots all day, I was to remain gagged for a good part of it.
I was now ready to gag myself. Next to a good dildo, I feel that a good gag is the most sensual part of the bondage. I picked up the ball gag and head harness and placed the red rubber ball between my lips and pulled the straps around my head. I buckled the straps tightly beneath my hair at the nape of the neck. The ball was of medium size so it filled my mouth completely. I then pulled the head straps over my head and buckled it, also in the back. Finally, I buckled the chin straps under my chin forcing my mouth to close down on the ball. I was now gagged very securely. I could make very little sound and my mouth was useless to work with.
Next, I picked up three small locks and placed one on each buckle of my gag. Once these locks were in place, the gag and harness were not coming off without the key (and remember, the key to my gag is in my left boot that is locked on my foot with a lock whose key is out in the front, in my mailbox).
It was time now to set up the ice cubes. The cube that held the key to my wrist cuffs was hung on a hook from the ceiling. This key had a pre-measured string attached to it. The cube was hung in such a way that when the ice melted, the key would swing down to where my bound hands would be, and I would then be able to free myself. The other cube, the one with a string already frozen into it, was also hung from the ceiling.
To one end of the string, I attached a weight. To the other end, I attached a wooden clothespin. The clothespin would pinch the enema hose and thus hold the water back. However, when the ice melted, the weight would fall, and the force of the weight dropping would snap the clothespin off the hose and the water would start to flow. There would be no way to stop the water without repinching the hose. If I am bound in such a way that I can not get to the hose, I get an enema.
I was now ready to begin the final steps of my bondage. I had set up a VCR with about five hours of bondage tapes that would keep me in the bondage spirit. I had put a timer on so that it would start twenty minutes after I had tied myself up. I now filled the enema bag with hot water. Hot water was used because it would be some time before the ice would melt, and I did not want a "cold" enema, or so I thought. I hung the bag on a rack and connected the hose to the bag. The bag was suspended about six feet off the floor to give the water sufficient driving force for an enema. I then pinched the hose and attached the clothespin and removed the spring clamp which was holding the water back. There was no leakage. If the clothespin comes off, the water would start to flow.
I took one last look around the guest room to make sure that everything was all right. (I did not want more than one surprise while I was tied up.) I had earlier made sure that the room was locked and that the window shades were pulled. I had left a key to the guest room door in the envelope that I had left for my girlfriend to find in case of an emergency.
I now stood in the place where I was going to stand for the rest of my bondage. I had attached two hooks to the floor, spaced about four feet apart. I stood between these two hooks. I took two leather straps and attached one to each hook. I then attached one strap to my left ankle and the other to my right. I pulled these straps tight, thus spreading my legs apart. (They would only go twelve inches, remember, due to the hobbling chain.)
I now picked up a three inch leather collar and buckled it around my neck. The collar held my head up high and allowed very little movement. A set of leather wrist cuffs were attached to the back of my collar by a nine-inch chain. The length of the chain was such that when my hands were locked in the cuffs, they would be held in the middle of my back. I would be unable to reach the butt plug or enema hose and stop the enema from occurring.
I now put on the chastity belt, drawing the waist strap snug. I then carefully lubricated and inserted the butt plug and the vibrating dildo. I then pulled the crotch strap tight, locking it in place. It was not coming off without the key. This key was locked in the bathroom and the key to the bathroom was out in the garage. After my hands were free, I would be forced to walk outside to the garage with the chastity belt still locked on and the enema held inside, to get the key to the bathroom. This provided just a little more work for myself and it makes the bondage deprive me from doing something that I needed to do.
I made one last look at the setup to make sure that when the ice holding the key to the wrist cuffs melted, they would swing down to the right place. I had done this evolution many times before, so I knew that it would work. I was now all set to go except for a few minor items.
I carefully attached the enema hose to the butt plug. I made sure that the hose would not come off no matter how much I struggled. I then picked up two spring nipple clamps and placed one on each hardened nipple. My tits were already getting sensitive, due to the way the latex leotard was cut. The leotard had forced my tits to stick out and up, thus causing my nipples to stay erect.
As the clamps were applied, there was a sharp bite at first, but after a few moments, the bite lessened to an erotic ache. There would be no doubt that they were there. Attached to each clamp was a six-inch spring with a small weight on the end. Any movement at all would be compounded by the spring and weight, thus increasing the stimulation to my nipples and breasts.
I now picked up a set of elbow-length kid leather gloves and placed them on each arm. I found that gloves add to the difficulty in trying to unlock my wrist cuffs. The leather gloves make it hard sometimes to find key hole. Again, I had always been using then in the past so, I knew that I could get free. It would only take a little "patience."
One last item to add and I was ready for the big moment. To keep me from bending my body backwards and possibly reaching the enema hose, I had attached an additional hook to the ceiling right above where I was bound. To this hook, I had attached an adjustable leather strap that hung down to the top of my head. I attached this strap to the D-ring on top of my head harness and adjusted the strap so my body was held erect.
I was now at that "moment of truth." I slowly reached my hands around behind me and placed the wrist cuffs, which were attached to my collar, on my wrists. Before I locked them, I tried to move around to see if I had been sloppy in any of my bondage restraints. I also wanted to see if there was anything that was going to cause me major discomfort or irritation. Once I was satisfied of my bindings, I took a deep breath and I locked the cuffs on. I had gone past the point of no return. I could have not turned back now if I had wanted to.
This is my favorite time in self-bondage. Feeling the last lock click shut, taking that last chance for freedom away, gives a rush that is very hard to describe. What if, as I was locking the last lock, I happen to look around at the ice holding my key to freedom and see it lying on the floor or maybe that the string was not tied correctly and that I had just sealed my fate for the next several hours with no hope for escape except for my girlfriend finding the note. What If!
Before I had started my bondage experience, I had place a full length mirror in front of me. When I looked in it, I saw a young girl dressed in black shiny latex and white leather boots, completely bound and gagged.
I felt just about how I looked. I could not move more than a couple of inches in any direction. The vibrator was doing its job of keeping me very stimulated, and any movement was instantly transmitted to my nipples through the springs and nipple clamps.
The one thing that I had forgotten was to look at the clock. I knew it was in the early afternoon and that was it, and I also knew from experience that I had about two and a half hours before the ice holding the key to my wrist cuffs would melt. I did not know, however, how long the ice holding the other string and weight would last. I assumed that it would fall sooner just because of the additional weight. As it turned out I was right!
After a while, the VCR started and I tried to "relax" and watch some of my favorite bondage movies. It was hard to concentrate on the movies with the vibrator going. My mind started to drift and fantasize. I dreamed that I was some mistress's slave that was being punished for some small deed that had not pleased her. I also fantasized that while I was bound and gagged, my girlfriend walked into the room and found me. Instead of releasing me, however, she continued to tease me and tighten my already tight bondage. It was these kind of thoughts that made the bondage all that more exciting.
